Going to be a Crazy Guy

I am going nuts!!.. keep on thinking on that "thing" ...or am I thinking too much? However I know it is impossible for me as I have not started anything.. But at least I did something to a "thing" which it will not notice. It might be I do not know how to start or when to start. But all I can say is I do not have any motivation to begin again due to the past experiences I had. They were terrible feelings to me. I do not know why that "thing" gives me a lot of attraction and I might worry or concern whenever it departs. Strange feeling.. Really strange feeling.